Sanctuary

Strong is what we are whenever we’re apart

I’ll be right where you are, I’m in your heart

So don’t you worry about a thing, or all the miles in between

You have my heart, you had it from the start

I love you from afar…

I don’t get myself sometimes

When left alone with no work, I tend to start asking myself questions that are impossible to answer.

What’s our purpose in life?

What’s MY purpose in life?

What am I here for?

Is this all? Is there more? What is to come? What am i to make of it? 

Then each and every one of these questions branch off to a million other questions that I can never finish answering.. Most of which I can’t answer, some of which I don’t want to answer. Should I subscribe to the belief that God has his plans for us, and accept what comes my way? Or do i follow my heart and keep fighting and fighting for what I want, which has always been my conviction anyway? On one hand I want to believe in God’s greater plans for us, and on another hand I don’t want to be perceive myself as weak-willed and just use the former as an excuse every time I don’t get something i want. And these arguments go on in my mind incessantly, in a myriad of different directions, in a never-ending perpetual motion.

Most of the time I stop myself because I don’t think people usually think like this. Think too much think too deep think too far. It just puts me in a broody contemplative mood which only I enjoy. Well, i’ve a good friend Nash with whom I got close cos we are quite similar in this sense, but then we both agreed should we share this with most people, they’d just find us weird.

Perhaps that’s why we are so loud/ funny/ ridiculous in front of most people.. Is this what they call a facade? I’m not being fake or trying to deceive; the funny social part has been in me from young, but I seem to be subduing this other side of me which has developed through the years, just so I don’t stick out like a weirdo. hmm. 

Glad I found Nash. that deep, contemplative, and downright horny dirty-minded perv.